I realise it is profoundly foolhardy to wade into this, it being among the oldest contested territory known to humanity. But what are long weekends for if not stupidity?
** Interest declared. Our family recently took delivery of a nice pedigreed puppy. The kind that everyone's first question on seeing it is "oooh, so cute, what breed is it?" As a lifelong cat lover, this has led to some challenging introspection, leavened only by re-reading that grand farce "A Confederacy of Dunces".
** These are my opinions only. No other person or organisation can be blamed for them. Just me.**
CAT V DOG: THE FACTS
The Nice Part
Favourite Authors
CAT: Virginia Woolf, Oscar Wilde, T.S. Eliot, Joan Didion.
DOG: Ayn Rand, Dale Carnegie, Jack London
Favourite Music
CAT: Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Philip Glass, Pink Floyd
DOG: AC/DC, Kenny Loggins, The Wiggles
Favourite Screen
CAT: The Life of Pi, Born Free, Cat Ballou, Cats! (LOL)
DOG: Red Dog, Bluey, 101 Dalmatians, A Dog's Journey, Reservoir Dogs
Nature
CAT: Noble, independent, may be misinterpreted as aloof
DOG: Loyal, may be misinterpreted at servile
Demeanour
CAT: Cool
DOG: Waggy Daggy
Presentation
CAT: Elegant
DOG: Cute
Eating
CAT: Food
DOG: Anything
Drinking
CAT: Champagne
DOG: Fourex
Sounds
CAT: Purr, purr, purr, the occasional yowl, screeches during mating
DOG: Yap, yap, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark.
Shit
CAT: Discreetly buried
DOG: Anywhere and left
Piss
CAT: Pungent
DOG: Pungent
** Toss-up which is worse
Affection with humans
CAT: Reciprocal
DOG: Salival
The Not So Nice Part
Threat to Australian Native Wildlife
CAT: Extreme. Cats should only ideally be allowed in inner and middle suburbs of major cities only and banned from city fringes unless owners make a written legally binding undertaking to keep them indoors at night. All cat owners should be licensed and have to respond annually to the wherabouts of their cat. Dumping of cats on city perimeters should be a serious offence. There should be a concerted national campaign to exterminate feral cats (as well as goats, rabbits and other pests).
DOG: Serious. Dogs are known to frighten, chase and attack native wildlife but are not considered to constitute the risk level of cats. Feral dogs are thought to be very few in number. There should be background checks on anyone who wishes to own an attack dog or mastiff and a licensing system requiring annual updates.
