Seven Stanzas Contemplating Our Humanity In the Ikea Cafe

The Swedes are smart.

I own a Swedish car.

I tell my six year old daughter

It is the only car ever designed

For safety first and foremost.

She seems suitably impressed.

I drive it defensively.

With Ikea they have taken it

To a profound and mystical level.

We surf its physical intranet

Follow the yellow brick road

Through the hut of duckness,

Pilgrims in this brooding sepulchure,

This tin skin duomo of the home.

They understand us.

They know what we want.

Not what we desire, which is piffling,

But what we need, what we crave,

A place of safety, the safety capsule

Of my Volvo, a refuge

For the lost herd, the craven horde

In our serried ranks with chins held high

And our eyes shining brighter

Than bunnies in a picture book,

Or a lurid Maoist poster.

We drive our trolleys all the way

To the check-out and salute,

Credit cards raised to tap in triumph.

- Larry Buttrose