Monday, February 20, 2012


In my dream I invented a thing called a Disc-oh!
A frisbee of sorts with flashing disco lights,
Only they didn't come on in my dream
Which was almost monochrome but for the disc
That was golden as if out of Plan 9 From Outer Space.
The idea was you toss the disc at night
And the lights would flash and 70s disco music
Would play in the heavens above, and everyone
Would have fun, and of course want one,
And everyone would be happy, especially me.

I put the concept into my dreamworld R&D
And sent the working prototype off to China
Where it was manufactured in the millions
At fifty cents per unit: it was a very complete dream.
And they retailed for 20 dollars each, which gave me
A not inconsiderable return on my dream investment,
And everyone was very happy, particularly me. 

And my discs filled the night skies, rendering our world
Just that much brighter, joyful, and full of laughter,
Spiritually elevated, regular in its bowel movements,
Sexually active and ultimately prosperous,
Like my Chinese workers, who at their rate of pay
Earned a Disc-oh! per hour, if at the cost of production
Rather than the retail rate, but life is a business
Of Aspiration or so we are told, and they nonetheless
Were very happy, like everyone, including me.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012


You don't need powders, packets and yoghurt machines to make your own plain yoghurt at home. All you need is milk, and some of your last batch of yoghurt.

1. Pour 2 litres* of your favourite top quality organic/biodynamic milk into a saucepan and bring to near-boil (bubbling) on the stove.

2. Allow the milk to cool a little, and pour into clean glass jars.

3. Allow the milk to cool further, until it is between hot and warm (it's a touch thing... by trial and error you'll work out the right heat** for optimum yoghurt...). Add a tablespoon of your last batch of yoghurt*** to each jar, and stir in.

4. Put lids on the jars, and put in a small cardboard box or carton filled with packing material and/or tea towels. Close up the box and put in a small cupboard that you won't open until next morning.

5. Next morning open cupboard, take jars of yoghurt out of box, refrigerate.

 *This is how much I make at one go, but of course it's up to you how much you want to make. 

**No doubt there is an optimum geeky temperature you could measure but I've never bothered.

***Or of your favourite bought plain yoghurt.